As a sex coach, I see so many people questioning what is “normal” in sex.


“How many times a month is it normal to have sex?”

“Is it normal to lie about watching porn?”

“Is it normal to want to have sex in a shower?”

“Is it normal to not like kissing?”


“Is it normal to not like your vagina touched?”

“Is it normal to think about sex all the time?”

“Is it normal to not enjoy penetration?”

“Is it normal for a woman not to care about a man’s pleasure?”

and the list goes on.

A piece of advice from a sex coach

For anyone worried if it’s “normal” to experience (insert your concern) in sex:

“Normal” – is a setting on a dryer. Becoming sexually empowered means owning your needs, desires, and what brings you pleasure, and I encourage you to do that.

If you are into some imaginative alien octopus orgy fantasy role play, and your partners are on board – have a ball! There is no need for everyone out there to be giving you a stamp of approval.

If whatever you are doing is consensual, brings you joy, and it works for you, then who cares if it’s “normal.”

If, on the other hand, you are unhappy with the sex you are having, then no amount of people saying that it’s “normal” should justify you to continue forcing yourself.

Learn to ask better questions

Much better questions, in this case, would be: “What can I do to get my needs met? Enjoy myself more? Let my partner know I’m not into it?” Researching these questions is more likely to result in finding effective and actionable solutions.

Bottom line, don’t try to squeeze your uniquely beautiful sexual needs, creativity, and expression into a very limited container of what is considered “normal.”